Training Your Filter: Shifting Focus to What You Can Control

In the whirlwind of thoughts—whether about food, urges, or life’s challenges—it’s easy to feel swept away by every impulse. As someone navigating recovery or self-improvement, you might believe that having a thought or urge is a personal failure. What if the key isn’t stopping the thoughts, but strengthening your “filter”— the space between impulse and action?

Understanding and refining this filter can transform the way you relate to intrusive thoughts, cravings, or self-doubt. Instead of feeling powerless over every mental ping, you learn to choose where to place your attention, energy, and care.

Thoughts vs. Choices: Mapping Your Circles

The concept of “Circle of Influence” offers a powerful framework. Imagine two concentric circles: the inner one is your Circle of Control—your thoughts, actions, and choices. The outer one is your Circle of Concern—everything else from global news to other people’s opinions. Focusing on your inner circle builds resilience; dwelling on the outer circle drains your energy and amplifies stress.

Therapy can guide you in mapping these circles in your own experience—identifying which urges or thoughts you can influence (how you respond) and which lie beyond your direct control (the mere appearance of the thought). This practice shifts power back into your hands.

Strengthening Your Filter

Building a stronger filter is like training a muscle. It doesn’t happen overnight, but with consistent practice, you develop greater clarity and self-trust. Here’s one approach to get started:

Notice and Name: When a disruptive thought or craving arises—“I must binge,” “I’m unlovable”—pause and label it without judgment. Recognizing “There’s that binge thought again” creates distance and choice.

This simple exercise anchors you in the present, reminding you that thoughts are not commands.

Therapy as Your Training Partner

At Aurore Counseling in Amsterdam, our English-speaking therapists blend cognitive-behavioral tools, ACT strategies, and mindfulness to help you refine your filter. In sessions, you’ll:

• Explore patterns that pull your focus into unhelpful circles.

• Practice defusion techniques to untangle from painful urges.

• Develop values-driven actions that align with your goals, not your impulse.

Together, we’ll create a personalized filter-training plan—one that honors your journey and empowers you to live with greater freedom.

Embrace Your Power to Choose

Strengthening your filter doesn’t eliminate tough thoughts; it changes your relationship with them. As you shift focus to what you can control, you’ll find more energy for the people, projects, and passions that matter most. If you’re ready to train your filter and reclaim your inner power, reach out to a therapist at Aurore Counseling. Let’s build resilience, clarity, and peace—one mindful choice at a time.